IT'S HALF OVER BITCHES!!!

I recently found the following entry in a journal that my gf had given me when I was 16.  I don't know why I chose to wait 20 years to write in it, and when I did this is the best I could do, but oh well.  It was a drunken rant that was scribbled on a lonely October night of last year.  Is it funny?  A bit....


10-3-11


This journal was given to me when I was 16 by the perfect girl.  I always thought she was too good for me, and  I've struggled with that doubt FOR 20 F@CKIN' YEARS!!  IT IS TIME TO CHANGE!!!


I've never had a healthy relationship (some my own fault, some not), but mostly my self-doubt has led me to be with women I shouldn't be with, or to sabotage everything when I was with someone I may have actually had a chance with.   IT IS TIME TO CHANGE!!!


Today I start anew.  Not just relationships, but finances, goals.  I'm a fantastic dreamer, but a terrible doer.  I'm dreaming my life away while doing nothing.  What's the old song say?  Dream, Dream, Dream, but the only problem is G-whiz, I'm dreaming my life away.  Catchy song, sounds happy, but that line it tragic, and in my case biographic.   IT IS TIME TO CHANGE!!!


Steps for new goals and positive thinking (in no particular order)

1.  Start my t-shirt buisness
2.  Quit smoking (shit, I like smoking)
3.  Get in better shape!
4.  Overcome crippling self-doubt (duh)
5.  Live for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow
6.  Paint more
7.  Write more
8.  Manage money better!! (time to grow up fucker!)
9.  Be more social
10.  Take some art classes
11.  Start taking photos (get a good camera)
12.  Record an album (finally!!!)
13.  Quit procrastinating jackass!!
14.  Start meditating
15.  Be free to be me
16.  Stop f@ckin' off!!!
17.  Don't waste whole days watching netflix!!
18.  Motivate the kids (be a better dad)
19  NO drugs?
20.  Yoga?
21.  Quit being a cynical ass (give in and read a self-help book, but not the secret)
22.  LET GO OF IT!  Shitty childhood, mom and dad, religious hypocrisy....ALL OF IT!  What does it matter now?  Your almost 40 years old!  F@ck your childhood!

10 things I like about me:

1.  I'm creative
2.  I'm a good dad (for the most part)
3.  I'm generous
4.  Smart (for the most part)
5.  I look good for my age (haven't given up yet)
6.  Great taste in music
7.  Unique
8.  Don't follow the taste crowd
9. I'm well read
10.  I'm talented

This is the year, this is the year, this is the year.
I'm a new man, rebirthed at 36!

36 36 36
It's half over bitches!!!
The adventure starts now!!!

I copied this word for word in all its drunken glory, Amen...............................J